The USS Quad Damage

Coming to you live from a high horse

I do not think that I have seen either tim or Harpreet a single time so far this year. I'm sure that, in tim's defense, he's probably very busy with union stuff or some sort of injury or something. Harpreet, however, appears to have fallen off the face of the earth. What has happened to him? What has he been doing all this time? I will present a few theories.

- Has been involved in the filming of a new reality television program, "Who wants to get kicked in the groin?". In this show, contestants all compete in a game of tennis against Harpreet, and when they least suspect it, he will deliver said blow. He will claim it to be an accident, but we, the viewing audience, all know better.

- By day, he lives the life of an average salaryman, slaving away the hours behind a desk at one of the leading banks. By night, he is better known as Lucille, a cabaret dancer at the local RSL. By living two separate lives, he hopes to reconcile the deep rift in his heart formed from a failed internet romance with Nikki Webster.

- Due to the aftermath of a rather bad kebab, was the real reason for the big pile up at the Bathurst 1000. Because of the immense embarrassment caused by emptying your stomachs contents on national television, he has moved to Russia, where not only can he wait for his notoriety to die down, but so he can finally live out his lifelong dream - to become a Russian mail order bride.

- Is just really, really, really into World of Warcraft.

Feel free to add your own theories, or failing that, actually detail the truth behind his recent absence. Either is fine.