The USS Quad Damage

Eviscerating the proletariat

Reading about some US political issues, and realising my lack of knowledge in the area, I took it upon myself to try and get a better feel for their two main parties via their respective websites. Since I was in the process of opening up tabs, I decided to check out some of the various national parties as well. I'm writing this as I browse through them, so there's no real goal or theme to this post - just my thoughts and ramblings as they come to mind. If you read this post several months after it is written, and then visit the links, expect it to not make any sense.

First up we have the Democratic Party. At first glance, they use quite a bit of colour. I believe that, in a subtle way, they are mostly for same-sex marriage, so the colours come as no surprise. How fruity. I notice there are only two instances of the US flag on display - I appreciate their show of restraint. Oh hey, what's that on the top left? A blog? I have to check this out... "*KICKING ASS"? Awesome. Come the next federal election, I'm making a write-in vote for the US Democratic Party. Reading the actual blog itself, I find myself up to my neck in serious political issues. Perhaps kicking ass isn't a priority platform for the party, but rather a way of pandering to the masses. Looks like the Monster Raving Loony party gets my vote once again. Out of interest, I check out their section of African Americans. The graphic makes me giggle. Taken totally out of context, I would think that they have the most liberal definition of African American possible.

Moving on, I find myself at the Grand Old Party, or more better known as the Republican Party. Interesting, not a single flag in sight. I suspect terrorists are somehow responsible for that. They have what appears to be a classified section. I check it out, and breathe a sigh of relief. It seems that they've yet to classify anything, so the possibility of classified information falling into the wrong hands is impossible. Smart thinking. I notice that they seem to mention something about "Bring the conservative message to America", but I can't seem to figure out what that is. Using the standard way of reading in English (left to right, top to bottom, in case you weren't sure), that message would be "click here". Summarising this new page in my head, I've deducted their message to be a dislike for AOL. Not a bad policy at all.

For something more local, I now visit the Liberal Party of Australia. I wish I could do more for this particular site, but their java slows my system to a grinding halt, and their links at the top won't work for me. Here's one thing that shouldn't escape your notice - look at the first piece of text under the picture of Mr. Howard at the bottom left. Sweet. Even our Prime Minister is capable of speaking the truth at times. Up top, I find myself a little confused (but probably not as confused as they are). The text says "Liberals in parliament", but the image shows the house as being empty. I'm sure there's a witty observation to be made there, but I can't think of one. I'll leave that as a challenge to the reader.

The Australian Labor Party. I've always wondered why they spell it as Labor, but could never be bothered finding out why. I expect this trend to continue. I have trouble finding ways to make fun of them, and at first questioned whether this was because of any political biases, but then I realised that it is simply because they've removed any trace of Mark Latham. How awesome would our country be if it were lead by this man. I can imagine the headlines now...

Mark Latham promises to make broken limbs the norm

PM: Fucking dumb shit arse licking dung mongrels

"Ehhh, she'll be right"

Honestly, as a Campbelltown resident myself, I jest with love. It really is how we think out here.

Following is the Australian Democrats. Bloody Democrats. I love the flash thing they have going. I guess nice guys finish last, eh? Interesting that they're only a little shy of 30 years old. I'll leave it at that.

Ah, the Greens. To most people, myself included, they can be summed up with two policies. The environment and drugs. Because they go a little crazy on the former, and actually appear to have sensible policies on the latter, they will never be a real power in the short to mid-term future. You can also tell you have a winner when you can only recognise a single member of the party. Their idea of "hot issues" is dated over a year ago. Brilliant.

Family First is interesting. I had never heard of them before, and all of a sudden they get a seat in the last election, and came close to winning a few others. Their policy on pornography is stupid. $45 million (and you know it will end up being double that) for something that doesn't really work? If they're worried about harmful exposure to media, they need to take note of my last post here. Check out their hot issues section, particularly their section on the Greens. The other parties are subtle and vague when it comes to political jabs on their websites, but not Family First! I had trouble finding anything concrete on their site, but I get the feel that they are basically a religious party in disguise. Religion is cool, but it mixing with politics never fails to creep me out.

Finally, we come to good old One Nation.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Seriously, I can't imagine how these guys were, for a short time, a serious political threat to the Liberal Party. Sure. the whole "fish and chip owning woman does politics on $1.50 a day - ask me how!" thing was cute at first, but surely, after almost 10 years they could afford to hire an actual web designer rather than their treasurers nephew with his warez version of Photoshop.

Like I said, no real point. I can only hope one of my commetns has offended some group of people out there so we can get some gits hits.