I'm not a fan of water. I mean, sure, it's necessary for life and all, but water is so damn scary and dangerous. I've always wanted to learn how to swim and all, but that would involve getting into a large, deep body of water. Screw that. The problem with the ocean is that it is almost totally unknown
. Seriously. We know more about the Solar System than we do about our oceans, which easily make up the majority of habitable environment on this little blue planet.
You don't even need to go below the surface for the ocean to kill you. What I'm talking about is freak waves
. If you've never heard of these, don't be surprised - they are more commonly referred to as "Oh my God, what is that? WE'RE GOING TO DIE!". Their scientific name is that, but in Latin. The very idea of a wall of water 30 metres high is one that fills me with dread.
One of my favourite films is The Abyss. What is so great about this film is how it manages to be so damn creepy and frightening without having to resort to enormous rubber sharks or poorly rendered giant snakes. Indeed, the rendering in this movie is a landmark in CGI, and still holds up today.
Giant squid. Let us, for the moment, forget their immense size (up to 18 metres long) and the legends of them dragging ships beneath the surface (although this is terrifying enough). The real issue about them is that they are shrouded in mystery. What do we know about giant squid? Stuff all. So few specimens have been found, we aren't even sure as to how big they can really get. We can't really study them because we don't even know where they live. For all we know, giant squid are the spawn of Cthulhu, and they live in an ancient civilisation on the ocean's bottom, practising dark magics aimed toward awakening their evil god.The Mariana Trench
. Dear God, this thing is deeper than Mt. Everest is tall. Exploring the very deepest parts of the ocean is much like being in space - outside of your tiny little metal machine is an environment that is completely hostile to the human body. Who knows what strange things we'll find in these unknown depths? I intended on having pictures here of those crazy transparent fish with the enormous teeth and their own sources of light, but they unnerve me as such that I don't want to go through with it.
Fuck the ocean.