When all you have is a hammer
by Nathan Partridge on 03 May 2005
Some time toward the end of this month, the final Star Wars film will be released. Well, probably the last. And even if it is the last, it's really the third film, rather than the sixth, which is Return of the Jedi. Well, originally, the last film was going to be the ninth, if not the twelfth, and did you know if you manipulate the numbers 3,6,9 and 12 in completely arbitrary ways, you spell SATAN?! Anyway, this most excellent event will also be the very last time I ever sit in a movie theatre, unless something like The Hobbit is made. Or something else that's nerdy and just HAS to be seen on a giant screen. Anyway, that's a different topic altogether.
Jedi are cool. Like, totally awesome. And then some. I wish I were a jedi - don't you? My name would be Sayez Ru-Safar, and my lightsabre would be orange. I like orange. I would usually get around in the traditional jedi garb, but I'd always have various clothes stashed away in case I needed to work incognito. I wouldn't carry any other weapons, since the force is my greatest ally. As for force powers, I'd mostly specialise in techniques that help in defense, movement and telekinesis. I wouldn't bother with anything involving mental influence (jedi mind tricks), since my sharp with and suave demeanour should be more than enough to meet my objectives diplomatically.
I'd get around in a fast, manouverable ship called The Knight Runner (get it?), but I'd mostly hang around Coruscant, with the occasional foray into Nar Shadda. Joining me would be Senith Yul, my padawan learner, and ZZ18, my tiny hovering translator droid. We'd make a totally rad team, despite me always having to bail Senith out of the various troubles he gets himself into. Dub Z (as I call my droid) would provide the comic relief. If it weren't for my unconventional means and my disrespect of rules, I would be a member of the jedi council. Totally.
So, there you have it. This is the stupid kind of shit that I tend to think about when travelling from place to place. I guess the only way this could get any stupider is if someone were to actually draw me as a jedi. Nudge nudge.