The USS Quad Damage

There's no business...

This coming Sunday is television's night of nights. The 2005 TV Week™ Logie Awards, brought to you by TV Week™ (TV Week™). Our entertainment for the evening will begin with the TV Week™ Red Carpet special, hosted by the eternally effervescent Richard Wilkins. Well, I'm assuming it's hosted by this ever-smiling man. This is the sort of program(me) that he's been relegated to do for the Nine Network. The only reason to watch this pogram is if you like cleavage and the occasional glimpse of what might be a nipple. Good stuff.

This year, The Logies are hosted by not one, not two, but by three people. Representing Channel Ten is Rove McManus, the biggest little man on TV. Channel Nine sends their trump card, the sparkling Eddie McGuire, who (for Sydney-siders at least) is not at all famous for hosting some show about some strange football game. I don't know what it is. Channel Seven, not having a "face" personality at all over the last few years, seems to be making one out of Andrew... something something. He hosts Deal or No Deal, and is apparently as much of a dickhead in real life as he is on the box. Now, isn't it lovely that the entirety of Australian TV can get together for this momentous occasion?*

The topic of whoever is hosting this event is always a hot one, but this year I couldn't care less about the hosts. I'd like to take this opportunity to express my everlasting love towards Andrew Denton and Shaun Micallef. Never again will The Logies enjoy the presence of these two most excellent hosts. Although their humour was lost on most viewers (Shaun's in particular), these two should take turns being hosts until the end of time. Who else is up to the task? Wendy Harmer? I think not, and don't even think about going back to the Daryl Somers days. Good god, no.

My biggest peeve with The Logies is that it is supposed to be a celebration of Australian talent in the realm of Television, yet every year we are encouraged to watch it because of the (possible) presence of big (b-list) international (American) stars (). Do we really think so little of ourselves and what we've done with the medium that we have to try (so terribly hard) to get these foreign celebrities on board? I suggest we drop them completely, and fill their spots with just two people only. Bert Newton, whose talent is going to enormous waste by Ten, and Lisa McCune, who is just so damn pleasant.

*I mean, sure, SBS and ABC will clear up all the media and serious journalism awards, but who cares about that? Certainly not the Australian public!