The USS Quad Damage

Dealing with nathan can be an excercise in frustration at the best of times. You have to deal with my unusual word choice, the occasional sound swapping between words, and the never ceasing flights of fancy I like to slip into my methods of communication. There's also my awful Scottish accent that I occasionally like to drop into. God it's awful.

I'm not here to recommend a course of action to take in order to deal - such a thing is beyond my area of expertise. However, the first step to solving an issue is to define the problem itself. Of course, you can just do what most everyone else does and get drunk, hence not needing to deal with me at all.

Here are the various stages:

Stage 1: "You are the funniest guy I know." If you have ever said those words, then you were drunk at the time. Not a single sober person has ever held this opinion, and for good reason. Drunk people, when you are sober, are tremendously easy targets to impress. If, by any chance, you hold this opinion and are indeed not under the influence of a drug of some sort, then you really should consider taking up substance abuse as a form of recreation. Clearly, reality isn't for you.

Stage 2: At some point, you'll notice me recycling humour - this is a sign that you are entering stage two (also known as "sobering up".) If you listen to me for more than 5 minutes, you will realise that I have only four jokes, and that I simply change the nouns, verbs and adjectives around to make it seem like I have more.

Stage 3: You can see through my puns, cryptic ICQ messages and references to obscure films and are now aware that I have, in fact, been insulting you and your family this entire time. You have begun plotting my demise.

Stage 4: You are beginning to see through the surface and appreciate the depth, genius and the multitude of levels and facets present in my making fun of stereotypes. You have begun your journey on the path of enlightenment, and have even started copying my mannerisms. Every second sentence you utter either contains "and what have you", "Jesus Christ" or "you [randomnounA] + [randomnounB]".

Stage 5: Unknown. Nobody has ever entered this stage, although recent speculation suggests it somehow involves bunnies.

So, which stage are you in?