The USS Quad Damage

Snot came out of my nose,
I licked it, it tasted salty.
I got food poi-son-ing
from Hungry Jacks,
I thought that I was going to
(bridge)
DIIIIIEEEEEEEEEE
yeah I was gonna DIIIEEEEEE
(bridge)
Shit came out of my ass1
After a lot of fuss,
I was CONSTIPATED,
(chorus)
No one else feels like I do,
I need constant attention to
cure my disease
no one else feels like I do,
And I’m the only person who
feels... this... way.
(chorus)
The doctor said I had a disease,
Didn’t tell me the word but
I know it started with 'C'
sent me to a specialist,
who had no idea what I was talking
(bridge)
ABOOOOOOOOOOOUUUT
He had NO IDEA
(in BG) No one understands me
(bridge)
who else has balls
that chafe this way?
Who else has eyes
that don’t shoot lazers?2
chorus
(bridge)
Nobody in the whole wide world
Nobody in the universe
I’m the only one that has
EMOOOOOOTIOOOOONSSSS
(bridge)
chorus
(Chorus)
Yeah no one else feels like I do,
I need constant attention to
fix all my problems
no one else feels like I DOOOOOO,
And there’s NO ONE ELSE
(in the whole wide world)
Yeah NO ONE ELSE
(in the cosmos except for the black holes)
Yeah NO ONE ELSE
who feels... this... way.
(chorus)

¹ Saying things in an american accent makes it more emo!

² 10 points if you can tell me what the ‘z’ in lazer stands for.