Brade Trinity Owns You, AND an ipod
Blade Trinity is a good movie. This stems from it's 5 points which make a movie great:
1) It's about killing vampires. Vampire killing is great, and ethically non-ambiguous.
2) Jessica Biel is hot. Hot women are great to look at, like Catherine Zeta Jones in Ocean's 12.
3) Jessica Biel has a compound bow which you can buy (the real one presumably does not transform like... some... transformer). Transformers are more than meets the eye: they're robots in disguise, which somehow further validates this movie.
4) Jessica Biel has a thing for ipods. She dons the ipod like a weapon. Donning an ipod along with armour and weapons makes music piracy seem cool, like smoking.
5) ASIAN NINJA VAMPIRES. At first, it's just an ordinary asian vampire policeman with a gun. It makes you say "how odd, a katana and an asian... could ninjas eventually be involved?". Surely enough, they are, for the dispatching by Jessica Biel's character. Ninjas are awesome.
Supplementary 1 (like lotto): The guy from "two guys, a girl, and a pizza place" has some hilarious antics and witty repartee. Jokes about reproductive organs are funny, except when they're not. Fortunately, these were about vampire penises/vaginas, so they were quite entertaining.
Supplementary 2 (like lotto): There's a blind woman, and she's got a monitor, but she doesn't have any text-to-speech. How the hell she uses that computer is beyond me. Further, one of the vampires has some serious video editing gear (professional DV Cam, a Mac, and a dv reader thingy). Maybe she makes pornos in her spare time, but I really don't know what a vampire would do with professional equipment that is not related to her career. Fucking vampires.
PS: What did the gay vampire say to the other gay vampire? I vaaant to suuck your cock.