The USS Quad Damage

Hanging around garbage bins during lunch breaks in high school, unwillingly separate from the cage outside the boys toilets, team choko is no stranger to pungent aromas and difficult circumstances. But a cloud of foul stench is far from the only thing shrouding the team in mystery. It is time to bring some much needed light to the repugnant, yet strangely compelling constituents of Team Choko. So, in alphabetical order, we introduce:

Sunny Kalsi (foobear)

A child of engineering, I never got along well with other boys and girls, preferring the company of machines, which don't complain (verbally, anyway. They just try and destroy themselves whenever I'm around). I honed my sparkling and effervescent wit by making fun of people who were somehow different in high school, based on cheap shots like last names, notable physical deformity, and race. I'm effectively the Brent Sienna of the group, except with shorter hair and lacking a macintosh and a hot girlfriend that likes Everquest 2(Harpreet doesn't count, since he's neither hot, a chick, and only has Everquest 1). I'm currently nearing the end of my Telecommunications Eng / Computer Science degree at UNSW. I do Hapkido with nathan, and like to draw, code, write, and be an arse. I like all things heavy, conversation, music and food.Update: I've now finished uni and work at a telco.

Paulo Lai (paulo)

Paulo's sheer size dwarfs his giant intellect. In Brent's words "his brain is hung like a horse". However, having had this proven to himself repeatedly has given him an ego to match. He's like the academic equivalent of a porn star saying (like a frenchman, not a pirate)"yez, I 'ave 'ad sex with 'er. I could 'ave sex viz all beautifool woman, but I am too mush of a snob to toush zem vis my glorius pinazzzz." He's always informative and knows how to get a good deal on electrical goods. He currently does bioinformatics stuff for his PhD at UNSW, working on things most of us don't understand, or care about. Ladies: he does have a macintosh, a massive overspecced G5 using a massive LCD screen with a resolution that would send starving africans blind. He would probably be the skull of our group (with the brain device thingy), intelligent lovable giant.

nathan Partridge (nathan)

nathan is like a tiny woman trapped inside a big male nerd's body. Through his own admission, he likes cats and has girly hands. He always has a copy of Explorer open (because he's so much cooler than I am), and uses a "minimalist" email client. However, he won't use Linux, even though he's probably got a copy still on his machine. nathan can do freaky shit with letters that even Paulo couldn't do, but he still managed to miss a typo in my thesis. A man of many contradictions, he tries to prove his masculinity by showing that he's survived scratches from his various cats, and likes to beat up little girls. He also does Hapkido, and is learning Japanese at Ultimo TAFE. He's seen all of Chobits, but he hasn't seen Jin-Roh. His character is a close fit to a cross between Jade Fontaine and Cole.

Michael O Ryan (Gangrenous Bob)

Michael is hard to put a finger on. Believe me, I've tried. He's all like "hey, get your finger off me!". Michael's a very technical fellow. He's always got things down to the letter. Maybe that's why he's studying law, and not through the normal way (that's too easy), he's doing it through strange methods that take ages to explain, and longer to understand. He's like the Ying to nathan's Yang, the Ting to tim's Tang, and the Ping to my Phwatang! He's not really, but it was fun to say. He can always refer you to relevant pages and paragraphs that argue his points for him (usually in Dungeons and Dragons), and generally also acts as an episode guide to the Simpsons (and various other shows), complete with quotes. Michael most closely matches Francis, for being 1337 and technical.

tim Shaw (tim)

tim Shaw is his actual name (for those who don't know who the other tim Shaw is, be glad). He's the only regular writer to own a house, and have a proper girlfriend, and have a job. He's movin' on up, yo! tim works hard at the Nurses Association, but still has time to flood email mailboxes of everyone he knows. Being in a union, we can see that tim is a labour voting idealist, who wants a spending government in power, to ruin the economy and all of our futures. On a serious note, I've often wondered why tim and Shreyas haven't gotten into more political arguments. tim would likely be Max Powers. Evil, but no one knows why. eyyyyyyyyy!

Harpreet (Harmit)

Harpreet wasn't always a hermit crawling around in caves scrounging for food. It's through years of dedication and social conditioning that we've moulded him into this shape. Like they say in Kung Pow: Enter the Fist - "We've purposely trained him wrong, as a joke". Having said that, Harpreet's just a pussy cat, but mainly just a pussy. His character would mostly be like Cole (straight, not with Jade, like nathan) - thoughtful and balanced. It's that very thought and balance that make people think he's gonna snap any minute, and declare a crimson Jihad on all humanity, with a vengeance. We'll be right there filming it for yas :).

PS: We'd like to note that this does not constitute the entire Team Choko line-up, but rather the members you're likely to hear from on this site. Anyone who wants to change their description can do so.