The USS Quad Damage

Before I was born, God came up to me and we started talking:

God: You know, I can make it so that you're always right, but in exchange, everyone will hate you.
Me: yeah, whatever. LUNIX FPROT DARWIN!
God: So, do you have your mandatory one page outline of why I'm so great.
Me: Oh, I thought it was a mandatory one page outline of why I'm so great. SATAN GNU BSD!
God: That's it. Just for that, I'll make everyone hate you, but not only will you not be right all the time, when you are right, it'll come back to bite you on the arse.
Me: Fine, daddy. HAIKU RSS OMG.
God: Get the fuck out of my room. Only Jesus is allowed to call me that, and even then, only during our "special moments".
Me: I'll tell everyone you're black.
God: Everyone hates you, they won't listen. Either way, you'll either be wrong or I'll assrape you with my massive black wang.
Me: I know you are, but what am I?

And then HE said "I know YOU are, but what am I?"